You talk to people all the time. You instruct your employees on new projects, tell your children what to do, and talk with friends and family members about all of the things going on in your life. So why don’t you feel like you have a voice?
Chances are, you feel like you don’t have a voice because you aren’t using your authentic voice. There is much more to what you say than the simple words that come out of your mouth. Finding your authentic voice means digging a bit deeper and being willing to take risks. It’s being Impeccable with your word. Your word is the power you have to create.
Here are a few little known ways to help you find your authentic voice.
Honor how you feel
Finding your authentic voice starts with honoring how you feel. So many of us put on a sort of mask all day, even though something important is taking place in our lives. If you don’t honor your feelings, you won’t ever find your authentic voice.
Honoring how you feel doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re nasty and negative. It’s important to approach how you feel with compassion. For example, if someone asks you how you are, and you aren’t fine, don’t say you’re fine. But there’s no reason to unload your entire story either! Say something simple like, “Things could be a bit better. I’m definitely looking forward to Friday this week!”
By acknowledging how you really feel and sharing a glimpse of what’s really going on in your life with others, you’ll feel like you’re staying true to who you are.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
So many of us don’t speak up because we are afraid of appearing vulnerable. It could put us in an uncomfortable situation that’s a lot easier just to avoid in the first place.
However, everybody is vulnerable on some level. You aren’t alone. By sharing that vulnerability, you’re opening the door to connect with others who feel exactly the same way you do. By being open and willing to be vulnerable, you’re displaying transparency, which in turn makes you more trustworthy. It also humanizes you, which makes you more approachable. These wonderful benefits are all in addition to feeling more like you!
Be mindful of your thoughts and self-talk
You go against yourself when you judge or blame or reject yourself. When you are being authentic and impeccable with your word you take responsibility for your actions and use your energy in the positive direction of truth and love for yourself. Which then reflects out to everyone else. According to don Miguel Ruiz in the book The Four Agreements, ‘the human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. The seeds are opinions, ideas, and concepts. The word is pure magic; we plant a seed, a thought, and it grows. Every human is a magician and we thoughtlessly cast spells on ourselves and each other all the time with our opinions’. Be mindful of your thoughts and self-talk.
Tell the truth
From the time we were very small, we were all raised not to lie. However, it’s perfectly fine to tell a quick fib every now and then. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s not! Especially if you want to speak with an authentic voice!
Telling the truth, even when it’s hard, will make you feel like you’re living a more authentic life. For example, if there’s a social function you’d rather not attend, don’t come up with some lie about having other plans when you know full well you’re going to spend the night with a bowl of popcorn watching Netflix. Instead, thank them for the invite, but let that person know that you need a little me time. Everybody does every now and then!
The trick is in being kind when you reveal the truth. Everyone appreciates honesty, as long as it’s delivered with compassion.
Listen
Listening may seem like the wrong item to include on this list, but it is absolutely essential when it comes to learning how to speak with an authentic voice.
Many of the things we say are in response to something someone else said. How can you possibly speak authentically if you don’t spend the time listening to what others have to say!
By really listening, you’ll create deeper relationship with yourself and with the people around you. The more comfortable you feel, the easier it is to practice using your authentic voice.
Finding your authentic voice isn’t hard, but it does take some mindfulness and time. Start small and celebrate the little victories, and before you know it, speaking with your authentic voice will come naturally. Contact me for more insights on strengthing your authentic voice.